HEY KADIJAH: My husband and I married two years. We were excited about starting a family, and four months ago, had a beautiful baby girl. Naturally, we were both SO happy. At first …
All of a sudden, now he wants a paternity test. Says the baby is too light to be his. Of course, I thought he was accusing me of cheating.
He denied it. That’s not it at all, he says. Instead, he’s got it in his head we have a “switched at birth” situation.
Kadijah, the baby looks like me, and I love her beyond words. Unfortunately, now he’s even got me scared. Suppose I take the test and I’m wrong? Then, I would have to give her up.
Kadijah, please give me your two cents. Actually, I think I need two dollars worth. Should I allow the test? Or should I stay strong and tell him what I believe? That this IS out baby — Sick in Seattle 🥲
KADIJAH’S TWO CENTS
DEAR SICK: Good googly-moogly! I just started this advice column for shits and giggles, and here you come with drama.
Drama like that show Switched At Birth that I loved. Only this is FRR.
Well, okay then. Here’s my two cents.
First, I’m gonna give your husband the benefit of the doubt. That he really believes a switch is possible, and isn’t lowkey calling you a cheat.
So if that’s true, and now, you’re all in your scared feelings, I don’t think you have a choice. A test seems necessary because you will always be wondering and that’s bad for you two or the baby.
Still, I am no therapist. I don’t even play one on Tik Tok. So, before you decide, please speak to a therapist or a maybe your pastor, if you have one.
Regardless, I do have one suggestion if you decide to test. If he’s wrong, put that numbnut on bottle AND diaper duty for the duration. For scaring the living daylights outta you.
Lastly, I wish you all the very best whatever the outcome.
S. Marie’s Two Cents
Sorry, but I opened my big mouth and told S. Marie about your situation. And while I mostly ignore what comes out of her sanctimonious mouth, I decided to pass her advice on. And also, she threatened to pull Hey, Kadijah if I didn’t.
S. Marie says, if you are gonna do a test, don’t do a straight paternity test. All you get with that are the paternity results. Instead, do a genealogy DNA test from AncestryDNA or MyHeritage. Then, you find out paternity, your ethnicity, AND find out more about your family history.
For more information on the tests, read S. Marie’s article. Her articles put me in a coma, but it’ll help you decide.
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